After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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