Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
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