He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
