just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
