Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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