shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
