so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
