thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I am naked and annoyed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize