ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
