True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
