Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
