I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
