Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
people are starting to question the shark bite story
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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