dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
How external is "for external use only"?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
