threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
