I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
