The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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