if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
