Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
false alarm, still single
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