Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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