So drunk, too bad you don't want this
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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