I think im going to throw up on grandma
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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