we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
