I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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