Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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