is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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