if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize