Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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