so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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