This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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