3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
