Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
