one two three fourrrrnication!
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
