this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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