ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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