god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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