I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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