all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
