You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
