Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
