dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
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