Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
