she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
