Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
