My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
