Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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