i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
