I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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