I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize