I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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