my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
