Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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