fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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