It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
