We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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