does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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