was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
