Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
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