just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize