i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
