talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
