Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize