dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize