A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
