dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
