omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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