Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
