4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
These tits shall not be calmed
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
