No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
They have beer where we have blood.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
