Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
