how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
