no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
people are starting to question the shark bite story
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
